(word processor parameters LM=8, RM=75, TM=2, BM=2) Taken from KeelyNet BBS (214) 324-3501 Sponsored by Vangard Sciences PO BOX 1031 Mesquite, TX 75150 There are ABSOLUTELY NO RESTRICTIONS on duplicating, publishing or distributing the files on KeelyNet except where noted! November 7, 1992 MAN.ASC -------------------------------------------------------------------- This file shared with KeelyNet courtesy of Mollie Carson-Vollath. -------------------------------------------------------------------- A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS OF A DIGITATED, MAMMALIAN BIPED ELEMENT : Male Human CHEMICAL SYMBOL : MA DISCOVERER : Eve ATOMIC WEIGHT : Accepted as 165 but is known to vary from 120 to 250 lbs (mutations have been known to exceed 800 lbs.) OCCURRENCE : Quantities in all urban areas APPROVED FORMULA : 15.5:32:40 USES : I) Useful when accompanying element WO, especially in sports cars II) Most powerful agent for allowing money to run through fingers III) Can be a great aid to relaxation or a continuous source of frustration PHYSICAL PROP. : I) Surfaces hairy, sometimes bristly II) Boils at inappropriate times and freezes during highly competitive sporting activity III) Melts if given the proper treatment IV) Bitter if used incorrectly V) Found in various states, especially Alaska VI) Non-magnetic, some bordering on superconductivity VII) Yields to pressure applied by opposite elements VIII) In its natural state it varies considerably, but the shape is often artificially changed to conform to that of a perfect specimen. Such transformations can be seen at beaches and arenas IX) In some instances may start to gain weight and look like they have swallowed a keg of beer causing them to release noxious gases noisily X) Emits putrid fumes after vigorous activity CHEMICAL PROP. : I) Possesses a great affinity for gold and silver in top layers while lower layers tend to be laden with lead II) Able to absorb great quantities of expensive substances III) May explode spontaneously if left alone with a female IV) Insoluble in liquids but activity is increased by saturation in alcohol V) Properties are vastly improved if specimen is placed in the dark and massaged VI) Most fusable with element WO TESTS : I) Pure specimens turn leathery if found in the natural state II) Turns green if placed beside a better specimen CAUTIONS : I) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands, must be used with great care and patience if experiments are to succeed II) It is illegal to possess more than one III) When detaching a permanent specimen get appropriate counsel because the SPECIMEN COULD DRAIN THE BLOOD FROM YOUR VEINS INDEFINITELY IV) Tendancy toward self-destruction when ego is burned V) Age of specimen is in direct proportion to the expense of having him around -------------------------------------------------------------------- If you have comments or other information relating to such topics as this paper covers, please upload to KeelyNet or send to the Vangard Sciences address as listed on the first page. Thank you for your consideration, interest and support. Jerry W. Decker.........Ron Barker...........Chuck Henderson Vangard Sciences/KeelyNet -------------------------------------------------------------------- If we can be of service, you may contact Jerry at (214) 324-8741 or Ron at (214) 242-9346 --------------------------------------------------------------------